I have decided to actively start dating myself this year, and that 2020 vision, combined with knowing that saturating my craving for sun and heat against my skin was no longer possible, led me to catch a flight to the Canary Islands.
Over there, the virus wasn’t even noticeable, but I have later realized that it must have been mainly due to my dedicated self-dating. Not checking the news and spending almost all my time within myself and on my own left me completely out of touch with the world pandemic.
I received a text from my dad on 13 March “Denmark is closing the borders, so I’ll have to find out if you’re allowed in tomorrow. How’s the weather and how are the plants doing? “
My theory that it was mostly journalists trying to get the best headlines fell flat at this point but the anxiety around the world still didn´t hit me hard emotionally. This probably had a lot to do with me having spent the whole day in the sun listening to my favorite podcast, so I felt completely relaxed from my uneventful yet insightful day.
I was also eating ripe mango and everyone who loves mango and travels to a hot country knows you’re untouchable in that moment.
In all seriousness, I had the impression that the virus was nothing more than normal flu so even though I am a woman with an intense and varying emotional life, I had not seen the current awful situation even being a possibility.
But as I said, at that point in time, oblivious Ida was still present and therefore felt completely at ease while walking towards the back garden to photograph one of the plants to help alleviate my dad’s sweet concern for their well-being. Extending my time here in Spain with everything working as usual and with the sun keeping me company felt like no issue at all?
On the morning of the 14th, the Spanish government imposed regulations which meant not even being able to visit public parks, so I decided to go home after all. Not only to ease my mother’s mind but also to attempt to be a responsible student.
My self-dating Zen was interrupted already at the airport home where the stress and hysteria were clear. It wasn’t just the 200-meter queues and masks on people walking by. It was the whole mood and anxiety sticking to the surroundings like wallpaper.
I noticed that the feeling of unease that was following around me had booked a seat on the flight and flew with me and everyone else to Copenhagen but realized when I landed and spoke to my dad that it had moved in already the week before.
Rescuing myself from an inflated ego
My past weeks in quarantine have been a whirlwind of emotions. I have both been annoyed and sad with myself and others because yes, I have had to tell myself off about my egocentric thoughts.
Let’s take my search for my bedroom rug as an example. I am during this ‘more time on my hands period’ dedicated to finishing my apartment’s furnishings. I soon realized I become easily obsessed, or shall we say dedicatedly intrigued, to make it sound a bit more attractive. Especially if I have more time on my hands and an affected emotional space from everything going on.
The week when I arrived back in Copenhagen, I also found myself getting really annoyed with people looking and distancing themselves from me like I was the disease itself. I thought people were exaggerating.
But honestly, I am no one to judge someone’s fear, just as no one is entitled to hoard toilet paper, leaving someone’s grandpa aged 85 to trek from store to store, catching the virus on his 3rd attempt.
I´m a better person in the countryside, Hellah Good and suit up in color
I’m not sure I have a resting bitchface, but you´ll never see me as effortlessly joyful and sincere as when I’m in the countryside.
I´m talking about that big smile when running by, kind of joyful, smiling towards you and asking how you are doing kind of sincere, and this is even if I can feel that the person I encounter is grumpy and the last thing they want is to interact with me.
I am definitely a better person in the countryside. I believe I let my guard down as my inner stress releases.
And yes, I ended up going to the countryside where my family and dogs had been for the last week. The isolation and fear in Copenhagen felt emotionally heavy, and in the countryside, it felt like the corona virus wasn’t even prevalent until you put on the evening news. I am not completely sure why, but I have my theories.
In the Swedish countryside, the isolation is pretty prevalent all year around.
No negative meaning intended, but since that is the general way of living, there is no shock factor, and the empty streets do not hit you as hard. Sweden has also imposed weak regulations regarding the corona virus, which is both shocking and irresponsible considering the mindset of the rest of the world.
Being together with my family also took the edge off. My little sister was being homeschooled and, as her annoying and embarrassing older sister, I always find that my moments with her lift my spirit.
I am now back in Copenhagen, self-quarantined and following the words of youtuber Hellah Good, who talks about the de-stress benefits of running a mind and body at a distance every day while listening to September by Earth, Wind and Fire.
OK, the specific song isn’t a recommendation but it’s a great song and leads me to my point of saying that there is a lot of joy and efficiency to be found in `dressing up to promote better work productivity´, for example, and making it your own.
On that note, I decided to follow my own ideas and am suiting up in something comfy-colorful everyday instead 🙂 My yellow sofa, although a superficiality, also brings me joy on both gray and happy days.