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I’ve been studying at CBS since September 2020.

In my first semester, I had a few lessons a week on campus, but as was the case for everyone else, most lectures and classes were online.

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We’re now halfway into the second semester and everything has been online.

I don’t blame anyone. CBS is just following government restrictions.

But I honestly feel like we’re missing out on something.

One thing is the social aspect.

My biggest fear, however, is the lack of academic discussion.

Our syllabus.

Sparring.

Overhearing someone else’s conversations and views on different lectures, cases or something.

I’m so grateful for my study group and our teamwork, but it’s the same four girls as last semester.

Obviously… we haven’t met anyone else. And our teamwork is great.

But do we sometimes need new perspectives? I think so.

I sometimes sit in the evening wondering what I’ve learned today. I often end up insecure.

I sometimes feel insufficient. Powerless. Demotivated.

Everything is happening in my apartment and it’s really hard to distinguish between study time and spare time. Therefore I often forget what I just read or watched.

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I fear applying for a study-related job when I see job postings on LinkedIn.

I’m not sure what I’ve learned, and I fear future employers will think the same.

I can recite many theories and illustrate how supply and demand curves determine the equilibrium price.  But is that really enough?

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I know, I’m only at the beginning of my education and maybe I would have thought and felt the same if we could have gone to campus.

But I guess I would have spoken to my co-students about my insecurities and worries then.

Right now, I don’t even know their names. I just know their initials and some faces from Zoom.

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A couple of weeks ago I started crying because I had to do a presentation on Zoom in front of my class.

I worried that they would discover my act.

My act being me claiming to know something and lecture them in organizational communication.

If I think like that about myself, won’t everyone else too? And I don’t just mean my co-students.

Having said all of the above, I’m grateful every day that my studies only involve books and lectures.

Some days, I think, I miss the ‘hands-on-part’ – by that I mean being physically at school.

One of my friends is studying to become a chef. How is that even possible online?

We could also speak of carpenters, physiotherapists etc. The list is long.

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Don’t get me wrong. I’m not one of those who think lockdowns and restrictions are useless and stupid. I believe that everything that has been done has been necessary and for our own sakes.

I’m just worried.

Worried that we’ll miss out on something.

Worried that we’ll be seen as the Zoom generation who doesn’t have the competences for the real world.