I have never needed to be a part of a relationship more than I do now.
It seems like every relation’s two “I’s” have become a “we”.
“We are bored at home. We’ve learned how to knit together. We’ve started baking together.”
It makes a small difference from the sentence I would make.
But my “I” has never boomed more hollow.
I’m at a point where my patience is almost nowhere to be found.
I’m at a point where I’m really doing my best to listen and act like I understand when people talk about their boyfriends and girlfriends.
In reality, I just envy that some people have someone to be annoyed at.
Or someone to watch the press conferences with.
Someone to watch the same TV shows with etc.
I miss someone to do nothing with
I miss someone to pick on.
I miss someone who’s restless.
Someone who’s so restless they’ve discovered a new hobby that fills up the whole living room or so.
I miss someone to do nothing with.
I’m normally good at being alone.
I love that I’m not addicted to anyone. And I love that no one depends on me.
I love that I don’t have witnesses when I pick my nose watching Netflix.
I love that I don’t have witnesses when I feel like I’m going to die from a hangover.
And I love that no one comments on the fact that it’s the fourth time I’ve ordered Wolt this week.
No one has experienced anything, so we have to be creative about topics to talk about on our walk
Can someone please comment on the big dust bunnies under my bed and the jogging bottoms I’ve been wearing for a week now.
Can someone give me a reason to dress up and make an effort to look like a living human being.
I can’t go out and meet anyone at a bar.
I can’t go to school and meet someone there.
I can meet people online. I can date on Tinder.
There’s plenty of diversity in there, but there’s one common theme.
Everyone wants to meet right away. Not that I blame them.
I’m super bored as well. But from a responsible and mature perspective, it’s the stupidest idea ever.
It has never been so important to chat and learn a bit about each other first.
It’s a waste of human contact and transmission risk to meet someone you just don’t click with.
And personally I have a big fear of awkward situations.
How do you tackle them during this lockdown?
We can’t sit in a public place and at least talk about the other people there.
No one has experienced anything, so we have to be creative about topics to talk about on our walk.
Because yes… it has to be a walk. With a lukewarm cup of coffee among all the other tinder dates around the lakes in Copenhagen.
How do we even greet? Should we give the awkward foot or elbow? Is it worth a hug?
How do we even greet?
Should we give the awkward foot or elbow?
Is it worth a hug?
If, in spite of corona, we end up kissing and hugging, there’s no point in giving an awkward elbow.
But if he’s a Men In Black type of guy or we’re just not that into each other, it’s once again a waste of physical contact to hug.
I understand if the complex of my problems seem small and can annoy some people.
But on the other hand, there is a giant need to be seen, touched and heard. And that’s just not a possibility these days.
During the last few months, I discovered that there’s a big difference between being lonely and alone.
I always thought that loneliness was the worst thing to feel.
But the loneliness feels irrational. Everybody is sitting at home, staring at the wall.
It’s the fact that I’m all alone that breaks me. I’m alone. All the time. Every day.
We’re all at home. No one has anything to do.
People are making babies, buying apartments and renovating them or just talking about all the things they are going to do when the world opens up.
I just feel stuck here in my one-room flat.
My biggest accomplishment is when I reach the famous 10,000 steps on my daily walk without a purpose.